What's a burden?? Annnnddd A Levi update :D

Uh-hmmm,

Be prepared, this post is alot of my mind ramblings and it's not really in order, cause truth be told, I'm kind of an all over the place kinda mom :D

~Left my fear by the side of the road

Hear You speak

Won't let go

Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Got every reason to be here again

Father's love that draws me in

And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You~

From HillSongs All I need is You

Psalm 119:133-135
Dear Lord.."Direct my steps by Your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me. Redeem me from the oppression of man, that I may keep Your precepts. Make Your face shine upon Your servant, And teach me Your statutes."

I don't know why this feeling is upon me. I think it has to do with a conversation I had a few nights ago. It's left this sinking feeling in my heart as I was reminded of how my son's are viewed. I guess I view life with a jaded pair of glasses on. Or maybe a God's view pair? I don't know. But, what I do know is that the way we see our family isn't the way others do. "Burden~for lack of a better word."

Now, this..THIS is a burden..

That's what others tend to say about our son's. Burden. I never thought this word would be such a thorn in my side. 

Burden: 

 A.Something that is emotionally or physically difficult to bear.

B. A source of great worry or stress; 

1. To weigh down; oppress.

2. To overload

3. Something that is oppressive, or difficult: The burden of responsibility.

Nope, No burdens here :D

I can honestly say that while my son's have other needs that my typical kiddo's don't, they in no way encompass the definition of what a burden is. Well, at least not in our eyes. They aren't emotionally difficult to bear. But do require a little more attention. Their needs, while are a source of worry, are no more so then that of my typical kiddo's. They for sure have never weighed us down or made any of us feel oppressed. ~"To overload", well, while their needs are different then our typicals needs, their needs don't overload us anymore then the needs of our other children. Do they require more? They do. More doctor visits, more direction, more patience, more cheering on. But all of our kids need each of these things, our boys just need them a little longer or a little more. Is it a little more sacrifice? It is. But one were willing to make. Is it overbearing, a source of great stress? No, no more so then any of our children's needs. We worry about each of our kids, spacial needs or not. And I really do want to clarify that while not all of our kids have physical special needs, they all have special needs that both me and my husband need to be in tuned with. Anyway. What I'm trying to say is that no matter what needs Levi will come to us with he won't be a burden. He'll be our son. What I see though my God viewed, jaded glasses are great rewards that I can't even put into words as I get the privilege of mothering one of God's great creations. We don't see the physical limitations the way alot of others do. We see our son's. We see how they add to our family. The joys they bring, the compassion that's been learned, the patience they've given us. The new view of life that we have because they need us to have it. It's all the same things we get with our typicals, just in a different package. When our first daughter was born, our whole world changed. What was important to us before her paled in comparison to her. Was caring for her a sacrifice? It was~ but a pleasurable one & one that didn't make us feel burdened. It's still the same today. How our views have changed are because God wanted us to see differently then others do. Do we worry about how adding to our family with a little whose going to need some extra time is going to effect our kids? Of course! What kind of parents would we be if we didn't? But what we've seen, what we know is that our kids are awesome. They have a love in them that runs deep for their brothers that are home now and they want Levi home too. THEEEY WANT Levi to come home. They know. They already know what it means to have a someone with special needs in their life. They're not afraid of it, so why are you? They don't see it as a negative, neither do we..so why do you? And why do you assume that they will ever feel 'burdened' by their brothers? You know what I'd love for you to do? Go visit This adoptive mom's blog. Her brother has DS. He's grown now. But it's him that lead her and her husband on their adoption journey to add to their family a child with DS. I wish you could visit her sister's blog too, but it's gone private for now. Her sister and her husband have adopted 3 children with DS & are right now in the process of doing it again. This is the impact their brother put in their life. Doesn't sound to burdensome to me. Sounds like a pretty good impact in fact. Or maybe listen to Jamie Foxx and how he views his sister w/ DS (who lives with him, along with the rest of his family) The truth is

 I don't know what impact our son's or our adopting are going to have on our typical children in the future. But I do know that their going to be okay. They totally are going to be okay :D

     ~~~~~♥~~~~~

This morning Lord, I just need You. You are My El Shadi (My Every need met)..My Provider, My Strength, My Hope, My Comforter, My Healer, My Savior..and all I need is You.

    In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. Psalm 94:19

So I will Trust in (You) Lord with all (my) heart; not depending on (my) own understanding. (I) will seek (Your) will in all (I) do, and (You) will show (me) which path to take. Proverbs 3:5-6

Thank You for being in this with us. Thank You for already knowing the outcome of all this and for allowing us to be a part of Your plan for Your beautiful little boy.

**Today's email update from in country attorney:

~"Was told offer (of Levi) will be signed end of working day today (12.20). So I

will have the document in hand tomorrow if all goes well."~ :D

                                                  O' Joy runs deep within our souls!!

How beautiful, awesome, and wonderful is our God?

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10 We totally embrace this promise as Truth :)

 Okay, so my ramblings are done for now & I just wanted to end on a positive note with that great email :)

*Dear conversationalist,

 I lOVE you more then you will ever know. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I know you love me too & worry about me, about my family..but I just want you to know it really is all going to be okay. Come what may, we're willing...both of us. Neither one of us is going into this blindly or because the other is asking us too. We both fully want & accept this for our family..for us, for our future. We know it's not always going to be an easy road ahead, what life is? We're excited about the changes God is bringing into our family.We know it's all going to be used for His glory. You just watch. We couldn't be more over joyed to have Levi be a part of it & you apart of us.  I ♥ U.

(♥ U Levi)