Levi...

I had to share this cause it's just to amazing~Do you know that in Psalm 139 God tells us how He knows us, every aspect of us and has from the beginning of time? That He has purposed us...So I told you about changing our Nika's name to Levi, right? It was our Ayla who suggested the name after doing a study of the book of Matthew last year in CBS (community bible study) and remembering that Levi is the Greek name for Matthew, my husbands name. Matthew means a gift from God (my husband's name is spelled Mathew; but the meanings the same)...Well, we wanted to know what Levi means, you ready? It means to be joined to...Our Levi is a gift from God who will be joined to us. How great and beautiful is that? So fitting. And you know what else? God's known our son's name all along. Good night Levi.

a fright night out with Ayla...

On Friday night my mother-in-law came up to stay the night with our 4 youngest little one's while me, my Mathew and our oldest daughter, Ayla, made our way up to Knott's Scary Farm. I really struggled with if we should take our Ayla there. She's 11 years old with a crazy, vivid and full imagination. She really wanted to go because all her older cousins were going (aged 9-13) and in my heart I knew she'd have fun, but at the same time my stomach ached at the thought of what I was about to subject my little girl to. Those of you who know us well know that our home is a pretty guarded place. We're very careful as to what we allow into our home. In Proverbs 31 the virtuous wife is also a praised mother who keeps watch over her home and "knows all the happenings of whats inside." It's one of the jobs God gives us moms and as a wife to keep the load a little less heavy for our husbands to bear. Yes, I've been given the talking to in regard to "sheltering" my children to much...by other Christian parents who are a little more lenient, by family members, as well as by friends who aren't raising their young one's in accordance to the Word of God...& well, I can safely say that after what turned out to be a really fun night out with my family...it was also a huge eye opening experience. I realized that not only am I sheltering my young one's from the ugliness of what goes on in the world of the living without our God's guidance these days, I've been pretty sheltered too since having my children. But you know what? I like it this way, & while I won't allow my children to grow up being naive of what's out there, I chose not to submerge them in it either. Secular music isn't listened to in our home, TV and movies are chosen with great caution for both my husband & I as well as for what our children watch. Speaking of TV...Did you happen to catch the last airing of the Dugger family specials? For those of you who have no idea about what I'm talking about~the Duggers are a God fearing family who happen to have 18 blessings from above, not a dime of debt and grown children whose lives totally reflect their love for the Lord. This family leaves my in awe as well as giving my heart hope...I look at their family and know, wow, it can be done! They've raised their children with very little outside, ungodly influence. They've sought God's wisdom and counsel in the raising of their children (which we're told to do straight away in the book of Deut chapter 7..."The Lord is our God, He is the only one. Love the Lord you God with all your heart, soul and strength. Remember always the commands I've given to you. Teach them to your children. Talk about them when you sit at home & walk along the road. Talk about them when you lie down & when you get up. Write them down & tie them on you as a sign...Write them on your doors to remind you".) So you see, in contradiction to what we've been told~we're given an instruction manual to raise our children by...And when we follow God's design then we'll have "no greater joy then to know our children walk in truth". 3 john 1:41. Yes, my children know that there's a whole different way of living out there, you can't escape it..but you can walk a different path and as parents we're given the tools needed in the Word of God to fully prepare our children for when it's their time to fight the battle that we as parents now fight while training our kids. Okay, bye for now...me

a late night & I wish Levi were home already....

It's been a long night trying to cram in as much of the online classes as I can to make things move faster to get our son home. So we had to take a class tonight preparing us for all the unseen risks that our little guy may or may not come with (we're praying it's may-not) & as I struggled to keep my eyes open & my brain awake I realized just how heart breaking all this is: the fact that here I sit in my comfy home, a full belly, my little one's cozy in bed (Thank you Lord for it all) & here in my beautiful country & over there a world away sit babies, young children, little boys and girls waiting to be wanted, to be held, sung to, feed with good wholesome food and just loved unconditionally....just because of who they are & for no other reason then that. I read a quote once that said "as a mother every child suffering becomes yours". If~o' just what if..what if instead of saying let's do something, we really did...what if instead of ignoring the fact that children, typical and special needs alike, are out there and need to be needed we as a whole responded..wouldn't it be amazing? Wouldn't it be great if people could just open themselves up to a little more sacrific? I wish I could cradle every child's heart. I wish I could make every child feel the security I felt in my dads arms, the security I feel in my God's hands. I can't wait for our son to come home. I can't wait for him to feel secure in my husband's arms, to be overwhelmed by his brothers and sisters overly affectionate ways, I can't wait for him to know how much he's loved, how much he's wanted and all just because he is. I know we can't save the world...but wouldn't it be nice?

Just one of those days..

Do you ever have one of those days were you just sit back and reflect on all that's around you, all that's going on and feel totally overwhelmed, but totally at peace at the same time? I'm reminded that only our good Lord can give that "peace that surpasses man's understanding..it's a peace that the world can not give" . Today should have been a day where I felt stressed and hurried..Had to get to the dentist for my last two children to have those pearly whites polished and found out my Rubee needs extenders to help her jaw widen to fit all those beautiful teeth that will be coming in now that her little one's are falling out, my Ayla will be in need of braces in about another year if she so chooses to close the gap in her front teeth ( I like her gap, I think her smile is a gorgeous one) and my Eli will need to be seen by the specialist every 3 months while the dentist makes sure his teeth are coming in all as they should. Ezekiel and Naomi are good to go and won't need another cleaning for 6 months. The great part? This dentist is wonderful, he's fully knowledgable in the needs of children with DS and he said he'd gladly see our Levi when he comes home. God's just lining things up for us I tell you. So after the dentist and doing some school in the office (we had about a 2 hour wait time while he checked out all the teeth) we headed to Costco. I love having my kids for company & the fact that they know how to behave & their not the type of kid's who scream, take off , or who I constantly have to correct makes it all the more enjoyable. So we shopped for our meat and got our new big boxes of hot coco ( a morning tradition in our home during the colder months~I have my cup O'joe and they have hot coco) then back home to a clean sweep of the house before papa comes home and then some quit time while Eli naps and school lessons get complete. Thru it all God graced me with His peace and I was even able to finish up some of the paper work for our Levi. It was a good day. I love days like this. I've learned that when I'm at peace, my home, my children and even my Mathew is peacfull...but when I'm feeling unpeacefull, shall we say, well the whole world around me reflects it. Night for now and may God grant you His peace.

No teeth & a Dossier...

He's so proud of having no teeth...who would have thought loosing your teeth would be such a badge of honor for my little guy? To him it signifies his right of passage with his older buddy, Mesha and his cousin Vinny. Now he's one of the big boys. And for me? I just want to cry~for me it signifies my little Zekiel's growing up to quickly for my taste. But don't all our babies?
So, we started our journey on gathering all our paper work needed from us for our Dossier to be complete.We're getting closer to our Levi coming home! But what a headache the paper work is! Most of it's paper work we've already completed for our homestudy, but this set all needs to be notarized and can't be a copy of what was turned in for our homestudy. It's okay though, I view this part as the labor to get to the joy. Mat's hard at work trying to finish getting our home "child proof". Imagine that, five kids and our home's not child proof enough for Levi to come home to....I wonder....has the government taken a look at the orphanage Levi's coming from lately? Hmm. Our home seems to be a spic-n-span palace in comparison. But o'well, what can you do but put on a smile and move forward, right? God let's us know we'll have to get thru some tough times before getting to the reward, but the reward is always worth the work. Gotta go now, my family needs me off the computer.

Ahh, to walk proud!

We got to be a part of our first Buddy Walk on Saturday, October the 4th. For those of you that don't know what the Buddy Walk is~ it's a walk walked by family and friends showing their support and raising awareness for their loved ones with Down Syndrome. So I put my little guy on in his sling and off our family walked. I loved it. I wasn't sure how it would go at first and honestly even kinda struggled with if we should go. Our kiddo's are aware of their little brother having DS..but to them he's just Eli. They've never had any other experience with other children or adults with DS and I didn't know how seeing other older kids would effect them. Would it taint their view of who their brother is or will become? Well, I came to realize (with my Mathews help) that this wasn't my children's fear, it was mine. I guess I don't see my son like others do. Being there and walking proud with the other families made me feel so....GOOD! I'm proud of my Eli, wouldn't change the fact that he has DS if I could..just like my beautiful Rubee has her dark hair and stunning dark eyes that make her stand out from our other children and make her, her...Eli's Down's is a part of him and it's a great part and it's a part that makes him the awesome little guy that he is. It was an emotional day for me to say the least as I looked around and saw the wide array of different faces. I had the privilege of meeting other great children with DS who lite up my face with a smile by their own countenance & in just a short time had me looking forward to what our future holds with not only our Eli, but with our Levi too. I guess the stereo type of what someone with DS is like had a grip on me that was a little tighter then I realized. & our kids? Like all kids...they just saw other kids that they bounced around in the jumpers with, slid down the slides with and ran around having a great time with. What a great day, and I can't wait to do it again.

so here we go..

Okay, I'm new to this so bear with me. I wanted to have a place to write my thoughts, my fears, my joys and more. We're in the pain staking process of adopting our 1st little one, our 6th child, our 3rd boy; our 2nd blessing with Down Syndrome. He beautiful and his name is Nika. We've gone back & forth on weather we want to change his name or not and then I read something that let me know he needs his own name..a name that connects him to us & us to him. Nika's given name is Nikoloz. When we first inquired about him we found out that there were many Nika's in his orphanage..he was narrowed down by his birthday. I read the other day that Nika's not a popular name given by mama's..but a name given to little boys brought to the orphanage with no name. They're named after Saint Nikoloz (yep, as in good Ol' santa) the protector of children. Our Nika was brought to the orphanage at 20 days old. Maybe his mama did name him...or maybe not. We've chosen the name Levi for him..it means Matthew in Hebrew, my husbands name. It's a name that says he's ours and we're his.

I hope you don't mind but you'll probably be reading a lot of my thoughts on all kinds of stuff. This adoption, the birth of our little Eli (our little guy with Down Syndrome) & raising 4 other little ones...sometimes I get overwhelmed, sometimes with joy, sometimes with laundry...and like any typical women I need a good venting and then all is well. Thanks for riding our wave with us...it's a big one, a ruff and anything but smooth one, but one that in the end will be a HUGE victory for us. It's late, I'm tired~ so bye for now.